As a gay man, I like to watch Boys Love (BL) shows. I’ve always had an interest in these dramas and considering I grew up on a steady stream of Asian music, television, and film, it’s like I’m continuing the trend, since these mostly exist in Asian markets. The BL target audience is typically women, so I have to remember, “I’m not the show’s audience, despite being part of the show’s character base.” Considering how deprived we were of queer, and especially non-“kill your gays” variety, content growing up, I’m attracted to wanting to watch simpler, softer stories. I see these shows as a vision of what could have been, as most of the shows typically focus on the misunderstandings that come with budding relationships between high school or college aged guys, which were not part of my high school years. When your adolescence was red-state midwestern early aughts gay, it’s hard to not have a pang of jealousy.
“I Cannot Reach You” is about two childhood friends, now final year high school students, in Japan as they realize the love they have for each other. Yamato, the model-esque, popular, quiet, good grades student grapples with all the students around him who are searching for love, but he’s already found his own. These students include, Kakeru, his childhood friend, who is much shorter, helpful of those in need, and enthusiastic about the positive things in his life. Yamato has always known he has been in love with Kakeru, and watching the students around them go from finding girlfriends for the summer or confessions just before Christmas, eats at him every step of the way, as it reminds him of what he cannot have. Yamato, very early in the show, does say he is in love with Kakeru, but it comes across in a way of “is this a confession or is he merely saying his name in an inquisitive way” which means Kakeru doesn’t think too much of it. Over the course of the show, Kakeru realizes he is in love with Yamato, and the two have a series of misunderstandings and missed opportunities to confess. Quite frankly, Kakeru hasn’t given one thought to if he likes Yamato until a much later confession in the series.
I enjoyed the way that the show portrayed Kakeru’s slow realization of being in love with Yamato, even though the people around him picked up on it sooner than he did. One of the earliest examples is Kakeru begins hanging out more with Akane, a girl that he has been paired off with in an earlier mixer. On a group date night, Kakeru sees Akane trying to win a plush doll from the UFO catcher, and he decides to try to get it for her. He spends all his money trying to win, but fails. Akane says she’ll pay for him to keep trying, so she runs off to exchange for coins. Yamato walks up and see Kakeru standing there, who mentions that he was trying to get a specific pink animal. Yamato gets it on the first try and gives it to Kakeru, who smiles and says that Akane will be happy, realizing that the doll wasn’t won for Kakeru. Yamato is, understandably upset, and leaves, and later sees Akane holding the same doll outside the bowling alley where the date took place. The viewer learns though that when Akane came back to the UFO catcher, Kakeru says he cannot give Akane the doll and another friend wins it for her instead. Kakeru does view it as the doll that Yamato won for him, and he keeps it in his room and even sleeps with it. It’s the first sign of affection Kakeru starts to feel for Yamato, before it snowballs into his own confession.
One moment in the show I did appreciate is Kakeru’s ability to stand up for himself. We see Yamato being the main instigator and confessor of feelings, which either catches Kakeru off-guard or feels like a hit-and-run to his heart. Kakeru refuses to let Yamato walk away one time and asks why he’s unable to say what’s on his mind, to say how he feels about Yamato. It’s likely a defensive technique on Yamato, who is portrayed as well guarded of himself and doesn’t want to be let down. Another theme is that, we, the viewer, don’t know this at first, but Kakeru begins working harder on his studies so as not to rely on Yamato’s help. He’s consciously working harder on himself to make himself someone that Yamato can be proud to stand with. Kakeru lacks confidence, and this is part of the reason he’s unsure how to approach his situation and why we have misunderstandings between the two. Yamato tells him though “I already liked you before this, that this was never an issue for me.” It’s an admission of “I see you for who you are and that’s why I’m attracted to you. I see the good person inside of you already.” The show ends with a statement of “It’s not hard to figure out why you stole my heart, but I didn’t know if that feeling would reach you,” which is a relatable feeling to anyone in their adolescence falling in love with someone, and even moreso in a queer relationship.
What else I really enjoyed is that the perceptive people around them noticed they both liked each other and cheered them on or tried to get them to be together to be able to chat at times. Yui, another male classmate, was the first to brazenly put it in front of them and help validate their feelings to encourage them to confess. Mikoto, Yamato’s sister, has known and asks what he’ll do if Kakeru turns him down and he says he would come back to her to cry.
Overall, I enjoyed watching this show. it’s incredibly light-hearted and soft, which I want to see in a show. I want to see characters who don’t even consider needing to worry about society’s reactions and are free to only focus on themselves in these situations. The guy’s are cute together, with Kakeru (played by Haru Kashiwagi) being my favorite character, as his reactions are sweet and sincere.